I keep seeing a post doing the rounds claiming that a jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend, well sorry to burst your bubble but that is utter rubbish. Jealousy in a relationship can and most likely lead to a miserable relationship. Why would you want to be with someone that can’t relax and enjoy it while it lasts? I can only speak from experience and trust me every girl I have been with that is jealous I have ended up resenting them.
One of my past girlfriends would cut up my clothes when she got jealous and another made me run for my own safety as I was sure that sooner or later she would of attacked me. There is no guarantee that because your partner gets jealous is going to be faithful to you in the end. They can just as easily have an fling behind your back. If your partner cannot trust you then you need to be thinking about looking at the front door.
Staying in such a relationship can lead to domestic violence, it works both ways, men and women can be victims. Below are some facts from refuge.org.uk:
- 2 women are killed each week by a current or former partner (Homicide Statistics, 1998) – 1 woman killed every 3 days.
- An analysis of 10 separate domestic violence prevalence studies by the Council of Europe showed consistent findings: 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women suffer domestic violence in a given year. (Council of Europe, 2002)
- 1 woman in 9 is severely beaten by her male partner each year. (Stanko et al, 1998)
- Domestic violence has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other crime. (Home Office, July 2002)
- Every minute police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call – yet only 35% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police. (Stanko 2000 & Home Office 2002)
- The 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found that there were an estimated 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents reported by participants in the BCS. (Home Office, July 2002)
- On average, a woman is assaulted 35 times before her first call to the police. (Jaffe 1982)
- In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family households, children were in the same or the next room. (Hughes, 1992)
- In over 50% of known domestic violence cases, children were also directly abused – NSPCC (1997) found a 55% overlap; Farmer & Owen (1995) found 52% overlap.
- 30% of domestic violence either starts or will intensify during pregnancy (Department of Health report October 2004)
- Foetal morbidity from violence is more prevalent than gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia. (Friend 1998)
Cost to society
- In September 2004, Sylvia Walby of the University of Leeds estimated the total cost of domestic violence to services (Criminal Justice System, health, social services, housing, civil legal amounts to 3.1 billion every year, while the loss to the economy is 2.7 billion. This amounts to over 5.7 billion a year.
- Professor Elizabeth Stanko estimated the cost in 1996 of providing services to women and children facing domestic violence in one London Borough to be about 90 per year per household & the total cost for Greater London to be 276 million per year.
- Sylvia Walby also cites the human and emotional cost: domestic violence leads to pain and suffering that is not counted in the cost of services. This amounts to over 17 billion a year.
- In addition there are hidden costs. Police have to attend the same households time and time again. Abused women and children end up in casualty wards, they also end up in bed and breakfast hotels. Costs arise from children having to be put into care and sometimes many assaulted women are unable to contribute to the workforce.
Here are some real life stores taken from the same website:
“I went to a cousin he didn’t even know about and changed my mobile number but I knew he’d find me eventually.”
“I talked myself into believing it wasn’t a serious problem and no relationship was perfect.”
Simone, Lisa and Nina
“I had been living with my partner for about a year when he began to change.”
Wake up, Don’t believe the hype. Do some research.